Brian McDonald

Yesterday was the first day of what should prove to be a protracted process of seating a jury for Joshua Komisarjevsky's capital trial. Embarrassingly, the prosecution found out how well Joshua "shines up," as his grandmother used to tell him. State's Attorney Dearington didn't recognize joshua, who is sporting a buzz cut, shirt and tie, and had to ask Judge Blue who he was.

Dear Mr. Dearington: Considering your one-sided victory in the Hayes trial you might think this one's a slam dunk. but don't take this defendant for granted. he's no hayes.

by appearances, joshua seemed far from 'bright and keen for christ,' as the motto for the christian camp he attended goes. he was 16, and with his neon-streaked hair, chained wallet and over-sized shirts, he looked every bit the punk rocker he thought of himself as. he was relegated to kitchen duty, washing dishes, but spent much of his time tearing up the logging roads around the camp on his bicycle. he also met his first girlfriend at the camp.

the campfire romance would last only to the end of that summer, but the younger sister of joshua's girlfriend would play an important role a decade later in the events leading up to a rainy morning on sorghum mill drive.

though dating sisters is not that unusual, the age gap between the girls is a clear indication of joshua's stunted sexual maturation.

claire, the older sister, was 16, joshua's age, that summer in camp. ten years later, when joshua was in jail for burglarizing houses, he would begin a pen pal cum conjugal relationship with caroline, the younger sister, who was then 16 (before he was sent to prison, joshua, at 22, would impregnate the 15-year-old jennifer, the mother of his daughter).

caroline would remain in a sexual relationship with joshua right up until he was arrested for the murders in cheshire, though, in the days before the murders, their interactions were relegated to cyber sex. caroline had moved to arkansas with her family. she would email naughty pictures of herself to joshua and they would talk dirty on the phone.

but for joshua, cyber and phone sex was not nearly a good as the real thing, in fact, after four and a half years in jail, then a few months of bliss, it was down right frustrating.

joshua, no doubt, was still feeling frustrated when he sat in his mother's van in the stop & shop parking lot. it was then that the Petit's chrysler pacifica pulled into the spot next to him.

maybe the most disturbing thing joshua said to me during our jail house talks was when he first described Michaela. "She certainly didn't look like she was 11," he said.

to be cont'd

joshua was arrested the first time when he was 14. he had set fire to an abandoned gas station in cheshire and was caught on tape by a security camera. by then, the name joshua komisarjevsky was very familiar to the cheshire p.d., they suspected him in a rash of burglaries in and around town, but they couldn't catch him.

when the police came to arrest him for the fire, joshua asked if he could first use the bathroom. he escaped through a window on the second floor of his parent's house and hid in the woods of grandfather's estate for several days. it was during this time that he carved the word 'hate' into his arm (he showed me the scar). joshua told me that he cut himself often after that.

though joshua said that his capture involved a half-dozen police officers, an extended chase through the backyards of cheshire and a flying tackle by a uniformed officer a lawyer who once represented joshua said that police found him on a lawn, asleep next to his bicycle.

upon his capture, he was sent to a psychiatric hospital called elmcrest. he wouldn't, however, stay at the hospital for long. though joshua's mother would later dispute this, according to court records his parents decided that a faith-based cure for their son was more appropriate and, apparently, were able to talk the judge into letting them send joshua to a christian camp.

to be cont'd

out of all the things joshua told me about his life, in his letters and in my interviews with him, maybe the most compelling was his story of being raped when he was 5 and 6 years old by an older foster brother.

considering what would occur in Michaela Petit's bedroom 21 years later, there is no doubt joshua's childhood experience will play a large role in his defense.

the rape is mentioned in the sentencing transcript when joshua was sent to prison at age 22 (he would serve half of his 9-year sentence, be released at 26 and then arrested a few months later for the murders in cheshire).

though the info was taken from court records, there was no indication that any effort was taken to prove whether the rape actually happened.

i'm not saying it didn't, only that proof of it, even psychiatric records, has not been made public.

in a letter, joshua called it 'merciless rape,' and called the foster brother 'his tormentor.' he said that it lasted months. he wrote of his childhood in the third person, as if he was looking back on someone else's life. he sees the experience as his defining moment, the point where his life turned towards the darkness and away from the doctrine his christian parents tried so hard to impart. he sees it as the beginning of his anti-social behavior

and, perhaps, as an excuse for his depravity on sorghum mill drive.

so maybe the bigger question is not whether joshua was really raped or not, but whether he is using the story (and me) to garner sympathy.

i really don't think joshua cares if he lives or dies, but i do think he cares deeply about how people, especially his friends and family, perceive him.

to be cont'd